Crackpot? Your theory seems entirely reasonable to me. As a matter of fact, the Tao Te Ching elucidates it perfectly in its 42nd chapter. I will add my comments within brackets.

The Tao gives birth to One.

[The Tao is ultimate reality. The One is God: adonai ekhad.]

One gives birth to Two.

[God separates the world into opposites, a cosmic havdalah.]

Two gives birth to Three.

[Because of this separation, all kinds of physical anomalies arise, including Noah's fateful threesome.]

Three gives birth to all things.

[The threesome causes the cursing of Ham, which leads directly to slavery, the American Civil War and its aftermath, and the whole social quagmire that we presently find ourselves in.]

All things have their backs to the female

and stand facing the male.

[The imagination needn't be stretched too far to see how perfectly this applies to the Noah story. If only Noah had had his back to the male and his front to the female, he would have been much less frustrated. Of course, he might have been too drunk to care. It's hard when you start hitting the home-made stuff in order to escape the judgments of a very dangerous deity.]

When male and female combine,

all things achieve harmony.

[When the two become truly one, there's nothing. All that's left is life being lived through them. This is also called the Middle Way.]

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